Back Again With Some Good News

Greetings, I have decided to come back AGAIN after another one of those unannounced hiatuses of mine (Jesus, I am such a bad blogger).

Since September, I have been working as a paraprofessional at for teenagers with behavior disorders for a school in Kansas.  In addition, I have had an evening job working as a tutor for reading and math skills.  I have worked these jobs with near-complete enjoyment, but always with the main goal of obtaining another full-time teaching position.

The reason for this most recent hiatus, quite honestly, was the stress of looking for a new teaching job was getting to me (again).  I slipped into that unhealthy, depressed state that I had last year while looking for a job.  Self-doubt became my closest frienemy.  I started smoking again, I was not sleeping very well and all I could obsess on nearly every minute of every day was whether or not I would ever teach again.

Before I go any further on that issue, I would first like to give an update on a student I spent a lot of time with, and blogged about during my paraprofessional work experience.  I continued to work with this particular student throughout the school year, but with a month or two left, the student was getting in trouble so often that his parents were afraid at some point, he may end up getting himself in trouble with the law at school.  He exited our program, and entered another program with less emphasis on academics, and more on behavior treatment.  As unfortunate as it was that he reached this point, I know it was the right thing for this young man.  I can look back on my work with him, and know I did the best I could.  I do question whether he got anything academically out of this program, but I know for a fact that both he and his parents were satisfied with job that I and the other staff members did in working with him. 

The other, much more positive news I wanted to share is that I WILL BE TEACHING AGAIN!



A small school district on the Missouri side of the Kansas City border has hired me to work with middle school students who have behavior disorders.  In addition to an impressive interview, I can also give credit to this most recent employment news to the experience I obtained this past year as a paraprofessional.  Even after I accepted the offer, I continued to receive phone calls for other job interviews.  All of these were with fine school districts, but I knew the opportunities afforded to me with this position were too numerous to turn down.  The administrators of the school informed me that I would be given a lot of freedom and responsibility for what happens with my students at school.  In addition, I am in charge of only a half-dozen students, I have very little paperwork, and I can set my schedule as I please for most of the day.  Translation: I get to spend more time actually helping students.

This, as well as some other things going on in my life, has me feeling more optimistic about my future than I probably have ever felt in my entire life.  What better time than now to start up my blog again? 

For readers of this blog (what few of you currently exist), let me reiterate (as I have in the past) that this may not be the last hiatus my blog ever encounters.  Ongoing events in my life - both personal and professional - will dictate the volume of activity this blog will see.  In the meantime, I hope you will read and enjoy.

Thanksgiving, 2011

Tomorrow, I will be going to Iowa to celebrate Thanksgiving with some of my wife's family.  It is a tradition that we have done every year since we were engaged, and one I have grown to love dearly.  It is a wonderful time to see members of her family I don't get to see very often.  It is also a time to relax and unwind. I get a few days off to stuff my face with food, shop, and otherwise, take it easy (I usually catch up on a lot of reading on this trip).  

 Photo from holidaywallpapers.org

So I am definitely thankful for that.  But there are plenty of other things I am thankful for this year:

• I am thankful for the fact that my wife and I are both now working.  While I would certainly prefer to have an actual teaching job, I am just glad to still be working at all (especially given what a tough year we have had).  I feel very confident that my current position will lead to something better, and we are so fortunate to have the jobs we do given the our economic situation.   Speaking of which . . .
• I am thankful that we are in a decent spot financially.  No, not great; not even that good; but decent.  As I said, we are both working, and we are able to make ends meet.  We are making enough that we are somewhat financially secure from month-to-month.  Hopefully, we can get to a point where we can afford a house, as well as afford to have a child.  Mentally and emotionally, we are ready for both.  But we have to be patent for now.  We are, however, a lot more financially secure than we were when we first got married.  We were basically broke, but we have been able to save since then.  And as with out job situation, we could be a lot worse off given how so many other people are doing in our country.  While we are discussing economics . . .
• I am thankful for the Occupy Wall Street movement.  I won't say I agree with everything they are doing, and I sometimes wish they had more specific ideas (like these).  But it is long overdue that a movement such as this exists.  By that, I mean people actually marching in the streets and bringing attention to all of the damage done by the excesses and deregulation of our economic system.  I don't know what reforms will ultimately come of this movement, but I know that there are a lot of dedicated people who will keep it going. 

Photo from http://weheartit.com/

• I am thankful for Weight Watchers.  That's right, Weight Watchers  I've been on the diet 2 months, and have almost lost 10 pounds.  I am sure I would have lost a lot more if I exercised more than 3 times a week.  I have tried for years off and on to lose weight, but this is the only thing that has really worked so far.  I won't say it's for everyone.
• I am thankful that an old fraternity brother and one of my best friends became a father yesterday.  I mean this especially because I know he has had some of his own personal struggles in recent years, but now seems more focused and at peace than he ever has.  I can't wait to visit him and see the baby.
• I am thankful that after months of going back and forth between a physical rehabilitation program and the hospital, my grandmother has finally settled into a proper nursing home.  And she seems happy about being in the nursing home, which is a pleasant surprise.
• I am thankful for books (especially my new Kindle), video games, and movies.  OK, that is the lazy, materialistic American side of me.
• I am thankful that I decided not to give up on this blog. 
• I am thankful for Missouri Tigers football.  So this hasn't been our best year for football.   But we've got one more game: our final border showdown with Kansas  before we go to the SEC.  M-I-Z . . .

Photo from The Boston 'Zou

• I am thankful that in a month from now, I will get to spend Christmas with my parents and my childhood friends in Central Missouri.
• I am thankful for my dog, and for all of the progress we have made in improving his behavior this year.  It wasn't that long ago he was barking at every little noise he heard, and trying to bite my hand when I reached over his head.  But my in-laws were gracious enough to pay for us to take him to a behavior specialist (you heard me right).  I love you, you crazy little mutt!
• I am thankful for this . . .

 . . . and this . . .

• I am thankful for my wife!  I love you more than anything in the world!

"Absurd" Education Proposal by Newt

 Picture from Polk County GOP

Newt Gingrich has a history of saying stupid things.  Here is a new one that I found on a NYT blog post generously titled "From Gingrich, and Unconventional View on Education".

In poverty stricken K-12 districts, Mr. Gingrich said that schools should enlist students as young as 9 to14 to mop hallways and bathrooms, and pay them a wage. Currently child-labor laws and unions keep poor students from bootstrapping their way into middle class, Mr. Gingrich said.

“This is something that no liberal wants to deal with,” he told an audience at the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard on Friday, according to Politico.

“You say to somebody, you shouldn’t go to work before you’re what, 14, 16 years of age, fine,” Mr. Gingrich said. “You’re totally poor. You’re in a school that is failing with a teacher that is failing. I’ve tried for years to have a very simple model. Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they’d begin the process of rising.”

 AFT President Randi Weingarten puts it very simply:

“Who in their right mind would lay off janitors and replace them with disadvantaged children — who should be in school, and not cleaning schools,” Ms. Weingarten said. “And who would start backtracking on laws designed to halt the exploitation of children?”

UPDATE:

Newt apparently had some other things to say about children working outside of school as well:

He added, "You go out and talk to people, as I do, you go out and talk to people who are really successful in one generation. They all started their first job between nine and 14 years of age. They all were either selling newspapers, going door to door, they were doing something, they were washing cars."

"They all learned how to make money at a very early age," he said. "What do we say to poor kids in poor neighborhoods? Don't do it. Remember all that stuff about don't get a hamburger flipping job? The worst possible advice you could give to poor children. Get any job that teaches you to show up on Monday. Get any job that teaches you to stay all day even if you are in a fight with your girlfriend. The whole process of making work worthwhile is central."

The former House Speaker acknowledged that it was an unconventional pitch, saying, "You're going to see from me extraordinarily radical proposals to fundamentally change the culture of poverty in America and give people a chance to rise very rapidly."

To be fair, there is something to be said about young people getting jobs that helps to instills a sense of hard work, and appreciate what they earn.  Even if that means working for lower-wages, and doing more physically laborious tasks.  That are what jobs for younger people (who are being primary supported by parents and guardians) are supposed to be like. 

I hope that some of the ideas Mr. Gingrich is proposing, however, doesn't mean he wants to alter child-labor laws, as some are suggesting.   I also hope that Mr. Gingrich isn't simply suggesting that working as a child means that one will automatically rise out of poverty.  The primary causes of poverty are numerous and complex, and it is going to take a lot more than kids learning the meaning of hard work to combat it.

Highlight of the Day: 9/13/2011

Today went really well with the kids.  So far, the kids seem to enjoy my company, or at least tolerate me being there.  I talked with my supervising teacher about my long terms.  I told her that my goal for next year is to be hired as a teacher and to have my own classroom again, which she completely understood, and said she would try to support me in that goal in anyway she can.  And even though the teacher-to-student ratio in this program is small, she is still in need of drastic support in some of the class periods.  Too many students bunched together into a classroom who really shouldn't be with each other.  Because I have classroom experience, she has informed me that starting tomorrow, she would start giving me some classroom instruction responsibilities with parts of the class.  I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited.  I'm starting to feel like a true teacher again (I just wished I was being paid like one).

Being a Teacher During These Times

Here comes another post where I blab about my personal problems, as well as re-post comments I made on another blog.  I don't intentionally do it, it just keeps happening.

I read this amazing blog post by Political Kick blog about the, uh, joys being married to a public school teacher.  It broke my heart reading it, because I know my wife has stated similar stuff before about being married to me.  An excerpt:

It is hardest for me to be married to a teacher because if you have the privilege of knowing one like my wife, you know that it will be hard to ever live up to the fierce dedication, commitment, and love that keeps them going. That despite the salary cuts and the hate, the misrepresentation of their work and the impossibility of the demands, they will push on. 

What I know is that I am married to a woman who loves what she does and her students so much that that she would gladly break herself for them. This breaks my heart: Not because of how much it hurts her to keep trying, but from the sheer pride I feel to stand with her every step of the way. 

Here is what I posted in the comments section.  I started writing it, and felt it deserved it's own post about halfway through:

I was a special education teacher for the past 2 years. I know exactly the cost, hours, and struggles you are writing about. And so does my wife. She married me a few weeks before I began my first year as a teacher. It was often a very difficult and trying first year of our marriage. Not only because of the extra hours I worked, but also because of the financial burden we were under. Things got a little better as time went on, but this past year, my contract was not renewed (not tenured, budget cuts). I tried not to take it too personally, but it definitely felt like all the hours and hard work I put in were unappreciated by my school. 

I have a new job as a paraprofessional. While it doesn't pay nearly what a teacher's salary is (which is not much to begin with), I am still glad to have a job in education. It is what I love to do more than anything in the world.  


What I find interesting is that a few years ago, teachers were considered overworked and underpaid by almost every politician in America. Now, in this economy, and budgets being what they are, many consider teachers having it easy. To some extent, we do have it easy when comparing how teachers are doing to so many others in this economy. 

But rather than helping those who are in need, politicians pick on teachers, and insist they need to have it hard too (when it is already a difficult job). Rather than raising taxes on the wealthy to help the poor and unemployed, we make cuts to services (including education) for those who need it the most. I know that one day, I will be teaching in a public school again. I can only hope that the climate for teachers changes for the better by them (but we may have to fight for it). 

Back for Good (for now anyways)

Photo from NewsLetterTree

The last time I published anything on this blog, I had recently found out I lost my high school teaching job, and I was starting to look for a new teaching position.  I promised that I would try to keep my blog going, but given that my last blog post was five months ago, I guess that didn't quite work out.  I can tell you that the last time I posted, I was feeling pretty optimistic about my future. 

But I can only spend so much time feeling sorry for myself.  A short period of self-pity is quite necessary, but overdoing it is not going to help me be a better teacher, or find me a new job.  So, I dove headfirst into the job hunt, and I have been there ever since. 

Turns out the job hunt was more difficult that I thought it would be.  I had numerous job interviews in the past five months, all of which got my hopes up, but only to lead to disappointment when I didn't get it.  Sometimes, I didn't interview as well as I would have liked to.  Sometimes, I gave a good interview, but someone else did better.  I even had one interview at a charter school in Kansas City that was combative and quite bizarre (I will share that story another day).  The point is, with education cuts being what they are in these times, the amount of teachers looking for new jobs is pretty astonishing, and makes for a difficult job hunt (even in special education where there is always a need). That new teaching job never came.

Not only did my self-pity return, but it became a chronic condition.  At times, I grew quite bitter and depressed.  I was already out of shape with little to no exercise, a poor diet, and constantly stressed before my job loss.  I added the habit of smoking to my "healthy" lifestyle (I have now mostly quit).  I was not only worried about my future financially, I began to wonder whether I wasted my time and money going back to school a few years back to become a teacher.  I knew I love what I did, but was all this an indication that I'm not a good teacher, or that I don't deserve to teach?  

When I talked to one of my supervisors shortly after hearing the news about my non-renewal, I promised that I would try to stay positive and not let this effect my job.  She said that while I had a good attitude, that would probably not last.  At some point, the reality of the news would hit me, and I might need to take a day for myself.  To some extent, she was incorrect.  I never "took a day for myself", and there wasn't an exact moment where the news "hit me".  As for the work in my remaining time at the High School, I never really faltered in my duties as a teacher or case manager.  I knew the responsibilities of my job (and to my students) were too important.  However, I got very lax in some of the ways I approached different rules set out for teachers (dress code, showing up late, leaving early, etc.)  I always told myself the same thing: "what are they going to do, fire me?" For the most part, the point my supervisor was trying to make was correct.  Slowly, the reality of my situation did get to me. 

I decided shortly after my last blog post, whenever the feelings of depression and self-pity started occurring more, I did not want to continue posting for a while (certainly while I didn't have a new job lined up).  I did not want my personal problems and negative attitude to be the focus this blog, which it would have been.  I started using my Twitter account again a couple of months back, and expressed some of my frustrations there (in the form of 140 characters or less).  But that is not what I want this blog to be about.  I vowed to myself that I would stop blogging until things in my life were a little more in order.  I made no announcement of this, I just stopped.

Well, as this post indicates, I'm starting again.  About a month ago, I started doing math and reading tutoring  at a company in Overland Park, KS a couple nights a week.  It doesn't pay much, but the fact they wanted me to work there gave me a major boost of confidence that I hadn't felt in months.  Then, a couple of days ago, a technical center in Northeast Kansas hired me as a paraprofessional.  I start next week, and I will be working with high school students who have Behavior Disorders.

Granted, I would much rather have a regular teaching job, but for now, I am happy with this job.  For starters, I get to work in a really excellent school district that could lead to something better in the future.  Plus, since I don't have to plan lessons or work on IEPs, I have more time to do other things I like (exercising, reading, hanging out with my wife, and blogging of course).  More importantly, I will continue to do what I love: educate and help young people with special needs (just in a different capacity).  Financially, things are still up in the air.  The pay cut I get with this job is pretty significant.  However, my wife recently interviewed with a company that pays pretty well, and will hopefully be hired there pretty soon.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

These past few months have been some of the most difficult and stressful months of my life.  This whole experience has probably been as demoralizing as anything I have ever gone through.  Sometimes, an experience like mine provides some type of life lesson, but I haven't found any yet.  All I know is that I am as positive about life and the future as I have been in months.  As far as this blog goes, I hope to continue to write about a variety of issues surrounding education, politics, and other topics of interest.  There is so much I have missed writing about these past few months that I regret not writing about.  These include the SOS March, the GOP Presidential Campaign, the death of Osama Bin Laden, and the continuous uprisings in the Arab World. I can't promise I won't ever go on hiatus again, but for right now, it feels good to be back and writing.

By the way, I want to update you on a student that I talked about in March who I was trying to help graduate.

One student, in particular, will make me especially proud if he can get to graduation.  He has spent the past year largely absent from school.  He comes from a very at-risk background full of poverty and crime.  Our biggest worry at school was that he was doomed to drop out and eventually go to prison.  Now, after a couple of times going through juvenile imprisonment, he has had a sudden change of heart.  He is coming to his classes, doing all of his work, and taking extra courses through credit recovery.  Suddenly, he is on track to graduate in May.  He has promised to get back on track before, only to fall right back off track.  But it does feels different this time: his attitude is more motivated, and his positive behavior is more consistent.  I just hope he can keep doing what he is doing for a couple more months.  A high school diploma will by no means ensure a secure future for him, but it does significantly increase his chances.  If he walks across that stage with his gown and gap, and receives his diploma, it will certainly be one of the proudest moments of my career. 

For a while, he missed a few classes, and started slacking again.  But in the final few weeks of school, he got his butt in gear, brought his grades up, and I am proud to say he walked out with his diploma in May.  What happens from here on out is up to him, and I do worry that he may fall into a lifestyle that will wind up with negative consequences.  But I also know that a student like him, without the support he received from myself and others, would likely have dropped out at other schools.  I am so proud that I got to leave my job with that accomplishment.  It is something I will never forget.  I will end this post with the words I ended in that post.

These are the reasons why I love what I do.  I can only hope that my next job will provide these same types of opportunities.