Sunday, March 27, 2011

So, I have been going through some things lately . . .

Yes, I have been absent from my blog for a couple of weeks, which is a lot longer that I would have liked to.  I have missed the opportunity of writing on a lot of unfolding events in our world (e.g. Japan, Libya, the newest events in Wisconsin).  I won't promise that this will be the last time I ever do that, but I am going to try and start writing more frequently again.  Was there a reason for my absence?  Was I too busy, or did I just get lazy?  Well, perhaps a little of both.

The main reason for my absence is that a couple weeks ago, the school that I work for informed me that they will not be renewing my contract for next year.  I have spent the past couple of weeks preoccupied with searching for job opportunities and filling out applications.  I have not had any calls for job interviews yet, but I do  feel very confident about finding another job next year.  There are plenty of special education job openings, and I check the internet everyday for new openings.

I always knew that loosing my job was a very real possibility due to the fact that a) states and local districts are making lots of cuts due to the budget, b) I do not have tenure, and c) the number of projected students that I teach is expected to significantly drop in the next 1-3 years.  I am quite upset that the school cannot come out and say "We are cutting your job because of budget cuts".  Although that is what it most likely is, they don't have to tell you a damn thing why they are cutting your job. This is a job I absolutely love to do, and a job I have spent hundreds of hours putting hard work into (hours that do not include the actual classroom time I am teaching).  Now, the school I work for has informed me that I am not good enough to do it anymore for them.   This is the thing that hurts me the most.

But I can only spend so much time feeling sorry for myself.  A short period of self-pity is quite necessary, but overdoing it is not going to help me be a better teacher, or find me a new job.  So, I dove headfirst into the job hunt, and I have been there ever since.  Fortunately, I have been promised very good references by my supervisor and co-workers, and was reassured by those around me of the importance of the work I do.    That helped my confidence greatly. 

Also, I still have responsibilities at my current job that cannot be neglected.  I promised my administrator that I will not let my non-renewal get in the way of what I need to do as a teacher.  So far, I have not.  If anything, I somehow feel I have become a better teacher.  While I am little nervous about my future, I feel a certain freedom in the way approach my current job and teach my students.  I worry less about what the school might think, and just focus helping the kids.  That is one hell of a feeling!  I still have a lot to look forward to before the year is over.  My kids are training for the Job Olympics put on at Johnson County Community College, I have several other activities I will be doing with my students, and I have a few more IEPs left. 

In addition, this will be the first year I participate in High School Graduation ceremonies since I earned my Master's degree.  This means I get to wear a cool sash at graduation.  I cannot tell you how much I look forward to graduation this year.  I have several students I have grown close to over these past couple of years who are expected to walk. 

One student, in particular, will make me especially proud if he can get to graduation.  He has spent the past year largely absent from school.  He comes from a very at-risk background full of poverty and crime.  Our biggest worry at school was that he was doomed to drop out and eventually go to prison.  Now, after a couple of times going through juvenile imprisonment, he has had a sudden change of heart.  He is coming to his classes, doing all of his work, and taking extra courses through credit recovery.  Suddenly, he is on track to graduate in May.  He has promised to get back on track before, only to fall right back off track.  But it does feels different this time: his attitude is more motivated, and his positive behavior is more consistent.  I just hope he can keep doing what he is doing for a couple more months.  A high school diploma will by no means ensure a secure future for him, but it does significantly increase his chances.  If he walks across that stage with his gown and gap, and receives his diploma, it will certainly be one of the proudest moments of my career. 

These are the reasons why I love what I do.  I can only hope that my next job will provide these same types of opportunities.

No comments: